If Your Heart Is Not On Board, None Of This Will Work

I have had one heck of a summer vacation.  For the first time ever, I’ve taken time off.  I’ve spent almost every Friday since early June unplugged and adventuring.  Locally to the river or mountains, or not-so-locally roadtripping to Portland or Los Angeles.   I’ve gotten more sun this summer and had more moments of pure relaxation than I can count.

I also built a new website.  Tadahh!  Which honestly was just as challenging and exhilarating as learning to surf.  Which I also did this summer.  There’s SO many moving parts. We were building this baby custom from scratch, so it felt like really high stakes, slow motion, collaborative art project.

And it brought up a ton of my shit.  

This website is now the second most expensive thing I own, second only to my car.  I have poured more money into this site than my dog, travel expenses and grocery budget for the year.  

That statistic alone has give me more than a few freak outs.

I took new photographs for this site.  After investing in a very fancy set less than 6 months ago.  First of all, the fact that I have now done TWO professional photoshoots boggles my mind.  Second of all, it felt irresponsible to invest in photography again so soon after the first set.  Like I somehow wasn’t getting my full value out of the first images I paid for.  I so did! But my freaking out brain had a LOT to say about it.

The night before my photoshoot, I found myself crying in the waiting room of my local spa.  This was pre-massage, which was supposed to mellow me out.  I was FREAKING OUT about my photoshoot and website.  I felt like I didn’t deserve to be so ‘indulgent’ and that I should just shut the whole thing down.  Cancel the shoot, scrap the project, go back to being Ellen with a ho-hum website.

Suddenly, it dawned on me that I was upper-limiting.   

Upper-limiting is when you come face to face with whatever you’ve decided is as far as you can go.  It feels like an emotional glass ceiling.

Right there in the middle of the spa, I ran into mine. Crying my eyes out, not wanting to go forward with what I KNOW is a really smart business decision.   What struck me as I realized I was in fact, upper limiting and NOT having a nervous breakdown, is how intertwined, really truly melded our businesses are with our hearts and personal stories.

Duh, right?  But it was stunning to me that as a business strategist, I KNOW an effective website is imperative.  I KNOW that professional, personal photography helps you get ahead.  I deeply understand the need for effective and efficient copywriting on said site.  But when it came time to invest that money in myself (because right now, my business is really just me) I freaked out.

My business brain said yes, but my personal heart said you are crazy, irresponsible.  Which is such a loaded word for me it almost hurts to type.  

So I had to spend some time with my heart + brain, to get them on the same page and walk them through the process.  Breathe through the price tag and trust that these investments would be long term.  The massage helped.

What happened next was I used all my money making mojo to make sure that I had enough money in the bank to not only pay myself, but invest in myself.

It’s a new level of business development, when you have enough money to pay the bills and yourself, as well as make significant investments in your business future.  It feels incredible and abundant and honestly it’s took me a minute to get used to this new level of financial stability.

All summer, in-between adventure Fridays, I kept doing what I do, which is helping my clients reach new money making heights, all the while creating something really vibrant behind the scenes, that will help me showcase my work even more effectively.

I am thrilled with the results.  I feel like I worked with my personal dream team creating something professional, but also personal.  I want to skywrite their names in gold sparkle glitter dust, but that’s not a thing.  The next best thing is to fawn over them as publicly as I can on the internet, because truly, it takes a village.

I would not be where I am today with out these amazing ladies and my incredible friends that surround me, keeping me grounded, focused, and dreaming big.

Lis is a stunning website designer, who not only made this site look amazing, she made the back end incredibly simple for me to manage, which was a huge priority to me.  I wanted a custom site I could drive myself, and I so can.

If you live in the Bay Area, or really anywhere in California or the West Coast and need pictures taken, you need Jenny MacKenzie.  She could not have been more pleasant + infectiously delightful to work with. She showed up with bubbles and sidewalk chalk, and I showed up with my bestie and Best Artist of the East Bay Jolene Russell, who is RENOWNED for her chalk art.  Together we created magic, and if you want custom art, chalk or otherwise for an event in the future, she’s your girl.

I also showed up with my bossypants sister Alice, who creative directed the entire shoot.  She’s a rock and a hurricane, and none of this would be possible without the depth of our relationship to anchor it in.

All of these women helped me integrate my heart and brain, so that you’re seeing both of them reflected on this site.

After I spent the time to make sure my heart understood what I was up to, and not let my brain take over driving, things got easier.  I felt like I was no longer working against myself, fighting battles that I couldn’t see, but I sure as heck could feel.  

I was able to relax and rise into a new level of abundance and growth.

Which is what I want for you.  Is there a place in your business where you need to get your heart more on board? Where your brain has maybe run away with things is trying to force things?  Take that time to align and integrate yourself, and see how much easier things feel after you’re done.

And if you have experiences with upper limiting or want to share your getting your heart on board ahh-haas, I’d love to hear about it in the comments!